There's a Window in My Bathroom... And Other Hotel Flaws

September 19, 2018

 

I'm sitting here searching hotels for my next trip and I keep coming across open concept bathrooms. Why are these becoming more and more popular? I get that glass walls make the room appear larger, but I'd rather feel cramped than watch my co-worker clean their crotch in the shower.

 

If you don't know what I'm talking about, open concept hotel rooms have bathrooms with glass walls, or no walls at all. Some hotels may have a private area for the toilet, while others may just stick it right next to the bed. Enticing isn't it?

 

If the bathroom had a killer view, I would understand this concept a bit more, but the only view I get is my friend awkwardly trying not to watch me piss.

 

(Oh look, it's a see-through bathroom and it's next to the kitchen area!)

 

 

During my last trip to Paris, a friend and I stayed at a hotel with windows looking into the bathroom.

 

"Well this is gonna be awkward," I said.

 

It would have been better if the tub had a curtain, but no - everything was exposed. We had to rig up towels and linens with hair ties and clips just to poop and wash our lady bits in peace. 

 

"It's not... ideal," my roommate said. I believe that summed it up nicely.

 

 (Our room in Paris at Hôtel du Temps.)

 

 

Obviously when I'm traveling by myself, open concept rooms are no big deal. But if I'm sharing a room with friends, family, or god forbid a colleague, I don't need them seeing my business.

 

Having the tub in the middle of the room may be romantic for a couple on vacation or honeymoon, but I ordered a room with two queen beds... What does that tell you?

 

I've noticed that some hotels have been intentionally hiding the fact that they have an open concept bathroom. If they have to hide that feature from their customers, then why on earth did they sign off on the original design?! 

 

If I notice that there's only one angle of the bathroom, or that they only have close up photos of features around the room, I'll do a quick online search of reviews. People tend to comment on see-through situations. That way I don't accidentally book a room with an au naturale view.

 

 (Quite the way to wake up. Also, why would I want to shower on rocks next to a large plant?)

 

 

Other Nonsensical Designs

One. Outlet.

What kind of monster designs a hotel room with one outlet?! I started packing a mini power strip on trips because I run into this problem so frequently. 

 

Crawling for Outlets

Thank you for blocking all of the outlets with a sofa, dresser, and headboard. I love crawling on hotel floors and moving furniture around just so I can plug in my phone. Also, thank you to whoever decided to put outlets 8 ft up the wall. 5'3" me can definitely reach those with ease.

 

No Outlets in the Bathroom

I have an afro. Do you know what it's like to blowdry and straighten my hair without a mirror? Oh the horror.

 

Hey, that's a cool ass sink, but where do I put my sh*t? 

Trough sinks are beautiful and may require less clean up, but there is no GD counter space. I'm not about to put my toothbrush on the back of the toilet, or worse, the floor.

 

 (The poor lighting in this bathroom doesn't make that wall any less see-through.)

 

Lighting

I could count on one hand the number of hotels that I've been to that have amazing bathroom lighting. The lights are either so dim you can't see a damn thing you're doing to your face, or so bright that they blind you every time you switch them on. 

 

And don't get me started on those hotel rooms that are clearly trying to kill me at night. Like the rooms where you have to walk 10 ft in just to turn on a light. Or the ones with no bedside lamp, so you're left walking in complete darkness. My toes thank you.

 

Handicap Rooms with a View

I get that there are elevators in your hotel, but a handicap room on the 10th floor doesn't quite work if there's a fire. (Unless there's some secret slide that runs to the ground floor. If so, I wanna ride it.)

 

Look, no hotel is perfect. Even 5 star hotels have their flaws. But as long as I can shower and pee in peace, I'm good.

 

 

 

 

 

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