I did that thing last week where I started doubting myself. It happens every time I start something new. I haven't had many pillars in my life that drive me to be a better me; so when I have doubts, it takes me a long time to overcome them.
When I post about my feelings, I'll get the occasional, "You can do it!" comment on Facebook from a friend I haven't seen in 10 years, but that's about it. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the encouragement, but it's difficult when no one close to you believes in you. In fact, I'm pretty sure some of my best friends don't even read what I post; or have even visited the homepage of my website. And if I bring up PLANE + SIMPLE, their only comment is, "Are you going to get another job soon?" It's extremely discouraging and it makes this transition feel impossible.
Blogging full-time was not the objective at this point in my life, but things just kind of fell into place that way. Since I'm not some worldwide digital influencer, and I have yet to generate a profit, my friends think I'm wasting my time. So instead of helping me, they shoot me down. One of my them literally introduced me to someone as his "unemployed friend, Rissa." I was both livid and humiliated.
Every day since I left my job as a forensic scientist, I think about how disappointed people are in me. "You're so smart, why are you wasting your education? You were so good at that, why don't you do it anymore? You're so talented, why don't you use that for something bigger and better?" Et cetera, et cetera. With all of these negative voices in my head, it's hard to stay motivated. I have this paralyzing fear that I've chosen the wrong career.
So I've made a decision - I'm taking this time to fail. As cheesy as it sounds, I've learned the most from my failures. I don't plan on sabotaging my work, but now I realize that the worst thing that could happen, may ultimately become the best thing for me.
It's time to shut out societal norms and stop caring about how the world perceives me. I'm taking this time to find who I am instead of who I'm supposed to be. If I fail, I'll learn. I'm not scared anymore.